BABY THOUGHTS (Baby cliff notes to my friends from a dad)
Ask for free stuff – Ask the nurses for supplies during your stay at the hospital. Extra new born diapers, giant absorbing pads, wipes, water bottle, douche bottle, breast pump, one all, etc.
Hold the baby by the neck – New born baby has not developed enough muscles strength or movement skills when she is born. For the first few days, make sure whoever is holding the baby, cradle her like a football with neck and head supported. If someone wants to hold her upright to look at her beautiful eyes, make sure that someone supports her head and neck with his palm. A sudden snap of the neck is like giving the baby a car accident – whiplash causes backache, headache, and spinal misalignment. The worst is that if the baby is hurt and there is no way for her to communicate to you. Remember, the baby’s neck and head is like a politician, she needs your support during the first few weeks until she has the strength and skill to go on her own.
New born diaper – Not the number 1; the kind with the belly button cut out so the diaper doesn’t rub against the drying cord stub. About 0.73 bags should be enough. The cord stub falls off in a few days. Bring your own to the hospital. I think most hospitals carry only the number 1.
Baby don’t like to hang loose – Wrap the baby with a baby blanket, she will feel more protected when she is sleeping. Baby wake herself with a sudden jolt, if arms and legs are left hanging loose in the environment.
Keep the cord stub dry – Have someone cover the cord stub during the baby’s bath. It falls off nicer if it is not infected. Baby needs just a wipe the first few days; he doesn’t know how to sweat yet.
Breast pump station – Go home from the hospital with one. When the milk start coming and the baby has not latches on well yet, A breast full of milk is no joke, Daddy. Rent an automatic one from the hospital for a week. The pump attachment can be used manually in the future. Store bought breast pumps are weak, no matter what the label says. (day 2, day 1 home)
Clear the crib – Get rid of all fence guards, pillows, folded sheets, stuffed animals, blankets, extra clothes, diapers, inside the crib. The crib needs a wrapped baby and a firm mattress only. All this other stuff in the crib increases your baby chance of SID. Okay, you can put a mobile and a soothing sound machine if you like, but make sure they are safely clipped or secured to the side fence. Make sure there is tight gap between the mattress and the side of the crib fence. Make sure the mattress cover is tight fitting. Don’t use a plastic protector over the mattress, it doesn’t breath. You baby may overheat. Triple up on the mattress cover or use the giant absorbing blue pads you get from the hospital. The first week, She is in diapers, you are changing sheets only when the baby spilled over.
Baby carrier off the table – Don’t bet on putting your baby carrier on the table. Chances are it will fall. Don’t place baby or baby carrier on high area around the house such as tables, kitchen counters, couches, chairs, beds, etc. You know the klutz will knock it over if chances present itself.
Changing table – Newton once thought, “A penny was knocked over the side of a table, fell and landed on the floor. But when it is on the floor, why can’t it fall any further?” Your baby is worth a lot more than a penny, it can drop from a changing table by accident. Read the warning label on a changing table and return it to the store. Even if they have a built in cresting edge and secure belt, it is still three feet off the ground. Newton said, “Baby will fall at the rate of gh if it is dropped from a changing table 3 feet off the ground.” Put a blanket over your carpet floor and you have an instant changing area anywhere in the house. I can assure you that your baby can not fall any further than the floor.
Sleep like a baby – This term is alluded by a 12th century male poet that never took care of a baby before. If your baby sleeps like an adult, you hit the jack pot. Please count this blessing as six minor blessings. Babies don’t sleep with a regular schedule. She wakes up in the middle of the night at one, three or four o’clock. She can scream about nothing at one, six or twelve. She can nap all day and cry all night. She’s awake when you want your nap. She’s sleeping when you’re awake. Be realistic, one in a million chance she will sleep like an adult.
Shake your booty – not your baby. Babies are fragile. Even Muhammad Ali’s daughter was not born with the body and neck strength of a boxer. She developed that strength in her first few years of her life. When you are frustrated with the cranky baby, place the baby in a safe place, walk away, and be cool. Babies cry about nothing all the time, they are not born boxers, they are just a bunch of crying babies.
Tummy up – When the baby sleeps alone, have her tummy up. Chinese like her to face side ways, switch sides from the night before if you care about your baby’s future face symmetry. Face up baby will have a better chance of a flat back-of-the-head. You grandma or mom may suggest tummy down. If that is the case, in order to reduce chance of SID, you need to ask them to be the designated babe watcher and watch the baby when he is sleeping (no walking off to the toilet or dozing off on the watch please, SID is no joke)
Shim the baby – When the baby develops muscles strength to roll over, roll up a blanket and shim comfortably (tuck under) beside one side of the baby. Two blanket shims on both side when she has developed muscles strength to flip over on either side. (week 6)
Tummy down –When you notice your baby starting to be able turn to his head toward your crazy singing and funny faces, he is ready to do neck muscle exercises. Under your watch, place your awaken baby tummy side down and have him lifts his head. Get his attention and move yourself, first on his right, then left and straight ahead, so he can practice lifting and turning the head as well. Sorry, no yoga yet please.
Let your baby walk – and he shall walk. Don’t use a walker (on wheel); it doesn’t work. Best is to read the warning label and ask for a refund. Many baby product companies had gotten out of the walkers business because they are high in lawsuits potential. If it is too late to return and it has a tray, simply take off all the wheels and use it as an eating station. In a course of months, your baby will learn to flip, and then roll. He will learn to slide on his back and his tummy. He will learn to sit up and roll over. He will learn to get up to a stand and fall. As soon as he learns how to get up, he is ready to walk. The best place to learn to walk is near a fluffy couch on carpet floor. Move all furniture with sharp corner away. Your baby needs to fall and not to get hurt. Have him stands against the couch and place his favorite toy a few inches away. He will learn to reach it by leaning and walking. Move his favorite toys further and further away and encourage him to reach it. Now is a good time to put away all remote controls, scissors, earrings, 409, explosive, and coins, etc off the couch. Your baby will be curious to break it or eat it. When the baby does the couch for a few days, he is ready to walk-assist. One parent stays in front to encourage and the other holds (assists) him by the armpits and practice walking. He will let you know when he is ready to run to arms of the encourager. Now you have your own running baby. He will soon learn how to walk.
Tell this to your crying toddler, “Animal Balloon is Recommended for 3 Year Old and Up” –you will get an ear full for the rest of the party By the way, even a certified clown will always give a balloon to a 1 year old. Always. If you decided (have to) go against the recommendation, the next best thing is for parents to supervise at all time. Never let the baby bite on it (especially teething babies). Always collect and dispose your popped balloon tiny remains right away. Crawling babies love to eat those balloon pieces left on the floor popped by older kids. Because balloon pieces are tiny, when swallow, they can block the tiny windpipe of a baby/toddler. Balloons remain as one of the highest hazardous objects among other things you’ll find under your couch cushions – loose change, earrings, small magnets, remote buttons, nuts (natural or metal), marbles, pebbles, screws, chewing gum, etc.
Ask for help –If friends, relatives and neighbors want to drop off meal, walk the dog, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, do laundry and grocery shopping, let them. If dad can take off from work to watch the baby while the mom takes a quick nap, change diaper, bath, and clean the gutter, let him. Take all the help but not all on the same day.
Other topics are non issues but will be a topic of discussion at your sons and daughter’s philosophy class. The syllabus includes discussion topics on
Aug 30 Cloth Diapers vs. Disposable Diapers: the Complexity on Our Disposable Culture and its Impact on Our Environmental
Sept 2 Warm Water Enhanced Moist Cloth Wipes vs. Chemical Enhanced Disposable Fanny Wipes: The Disposable Wipes Smears.
Sept 4 Labor day
Sept 8 Haggis vs. Pampers: Leak or No Leak, the Formulated Success in Product and Marketing Strategy
Sept 10 Breast milk vs. Formula: Reading nutrition label in the American Society, Natural vs. formulated ingredient
